Recovery and Money

Money, Don't we all wish we had more. Money seems to be an issue with a lot of recovering addicts. We want more, we need more, we owe more, or we are just plain out of money. In active addiction, money was a temporary idea. We needed X amount of dollars to get us through the day. I do not know of many active addicts who tried to save their money. Once we get clean, we start to become more responsible. We find a place to live, get electricity, fill our refrigerator with food, get a vehicle, and try to pay our own way through this thing called life. Unfortunately, many of us didn't make it out of active addiction unscathed. Some made it out with felonies while others made it out without any living skills. Either way, finding a job can be difficult. For those of us who are able to find work, our ability to use the money we earn in a responsible manner seems impossible.

Last night,  my fiancé and I sat down and made a budget. My fiancé, who has well over a decade in recovery, has a great job that pays well. I, on the other hand, have a great job that doesn't pay as well. We both make enough money to cover our basic needs, but both of us have gotten caught up in "the life." "The Life" is the part of recovery where you have become a responsible member of society again and start to enjoy things we had once forgotten about. Things like fishing, shopping, vacations, cable TV, internet, smart phones, and eating out are all part of The Life.
In active addiction, many of us let those things go so we could chase our next high. Who needs cable when you have a bag of dope. A vacation is when you have enough dope to last two days. Things that made life enjoyable fell by the wayside out of necessity.
After sitting down with our budget I realized that my fiancé and I have a lot of non essential items that we choose to have each month. $130 for satellite TV, $60 for internet, $100 for beauty services, $100 for cigarettes, and payments each month for credit cards that paid for luxury items like nice clothing and such. These are part of The Life. I can't eat my satellite service. I can't use my internet to take care of my health needs. I can't use my cigarettes to provide shelter for me. I can't use any of these things to take care of my basic needs. These are luxuries. Today, through working the steps and being a part of recovery, we are able to have some of these things. If at any point during the day I get frustrated with bills or money, I only have to take a look into my past or other peoples' current situations. I do not have it bad at all. I have a great life.
Those of us who have made it out of active addiction have to be careful with The Life. It becomes easy for our addiction to convince us that we deserve all these great things. Before we know it, we are in deep debt. The steps work in all areas of our life. If we become obsessive over money and our compulsion to spend it becomes too great, we find ourselves in a very familiar situation. We find ourselves broke, depressed, and feeling like there is no way out. Being responsible is not always fun, but it pays off in the end. Go ahead, enjoy yourself,but just remember that addiction manifests itself in all areas of our life. Today, my problems are first world problems. When I go to bed tonight, in my air conditioned home while watching cable TV, I will try and be grateful for the things that I have in my life thanks to recovery.

Wealth is the ability to fully experience life. - Henry David Thoreau