Fun? Ever?

Is There Fun After Drugs?

One of the most common questions I have heard since discovering 12-step fellowships is "How can I have fun without drugs?" I have asked that same question. After all, didn't drugs make us have fun? The question is faulty though. The question assumes that drugs caused us to have fun. Addict memory is a funny thing. We remember "good times" and forget bad times. It has more to do with the brains communication with itself that it does with just being a dumbass. Drug addicts really can't help it when it comes to drug memories. Maybe I will write about hyper-memory and the brain system in another post. Our inability to remember the bad times may cause us to think that the "good times" was all we had on drugs. If we were to watch a film of our life as drug addicts we would see that 95% of the times were not good. I can't say that I never had good times on drugs because I did. What I can say is that the good times weren't caused by the drugs. I was the reason for the good times, I just happened to be high when I had them. Drugs numb our senses and dull our emotions. If anything drugs kill the idea of fun. Someone will always say, I am so shy and have no confidence, some dope or a stiff drink always loosened me up where I could talk to others. Perhaps they did. Drugs serve a purpose and they accomplish that purpose. Maybe the drug reduces anxiety or increases empathy. Either way the drug didn't cause the fun. It only caused you to relax enough to have fun. Maybe you need some relaxation techniques OR, and this is a biggy, you need to change your idea of what fun is.

I used to believe fun was getting so high that I passed out or vomited. I used to believe that fun was driving around town fucked up like Cooter Brown. I used to believe that slowly killing myself was fun. All those beliefs were wrong. Going fishing is fun, taking a vacation with a loved one is fun, taking an afternoon walk is fun, going to a movie is fun, killing myself is not fun. The 12 steps have taught me that everything I thought I knew about how to live life needs to be looked at. Maybe not everything I knew was wrong, but there is definitely some things that need to be changed, including my idea of fun. Today, fun is spending time with my beautiful fiancé. It is fishing or taking my stepson to go shoot guns (I do live in the South). Fun is being clean.






Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one. - Dr. Seuss